My Weekend With Hanky Panky
Posted on 06 June 2018
Hi, I’m Claire. Self confessed pessimist and sceptic (or I prefer to say a ‘realist’). This is a photo of my most comfortable thong:
It is from La Senza, and I can’t remember how old it is. La Senza don’t even exist in the UK any more, so you can assume it's pretty ancient. It is probably also worth saying that right now I am wearing some cotton briefs which came out of a five pair ‘value’ pack from a well known high street retailer (sad, I know. I’m not single, just in case you were wondering).
Excitement rippled through the office last week. Gradually everyone gathered around my desk, one by one coming to peer at the new Hanky Panky thongs that had arrived in a new floral print. One by one, each of my colleagues pledged their loyalty to these thongs, and each time I scoffed at the claims.
“It’s all I wear! Even my daughters are converted!”
“They’re addictive, once you’ve worn one you’ll never go back. They should come with a health warning!”
“I wear them all the time, even at night!”
Since I started working at SheenUncovered, I failed to understand the hype around ‘Hanky Panky’ thongs. How can a thong be so comfortable you wear it in bed? Surely a large pair of cotton briefs are comfier? My biggest dilemma, how is it worth spending £22 on the most minimal style of undergarment around?!
Determined to dispel my disbelief, my boss was kind enough to gift me an Original Thong in return for me writing an honest article (she clearly has a lot of faith in these thongs). I had a full weekend ahead, including - what turned out to be a fairly wild - Saturday night out. If I could find them comfy for a full 24 hours, then I would happily convert to the church of Hanky Panky.
Well…the bit that goes up your bum looks rather wide. I've always found the thinner the string the less there is to wedge and chafe between your cheeks. They are actually much softer and stretchier than I thought they would be, so I think they would probably suit a range of sizes on the bootylicious scale.
It has to be said the string is wide, but it doesn’t actually pull tightly in-between the cheeks. Because it’s wide and very soft, it quite comfortably just sits and it doesn’t feel like your bum is trying to consume it entirely.
I did also feel sexy in the thong - although I would argue any thong is sexy when it’s not beige. My boyfriend (see, told you I wasn’t single) had other thoughts.
“They look…comfortable”. We all know what a man really means when he says something looks ‘comfortable’. On the basis I don’t wear underwear with the sole purpose of appealing to the male gaze, I’m going to ignore this particular piece of feedback - because I thought I looked great! The Original Thong sits quite high on the hips, which is a very fashionable look currently, and made me feel curvy but still slim. Also, my butt looked like I’d done a month of squats! £22 is quite cheap compared to cost of gym membership, and much less effort. Hanky Panky 1, Defiant Scepticism 0.
I have already flashed my bum to my friends, raving about Hanky Panky! T-12 hours, and I literally can’t even feel that I’m wearing a thong! It’s just right amount of ‘loose’ without being baggy, the elasticated material clings gently to you without digging in. 3 tequila shots and half a bottle of wine later, and I might as well be wearing no pants at all.
In my delightfully tipsy state (I’m always delightful after a 2am trip to McDonalds), my boyfriend and I staggered back home in the early hours, far too tired for any actual hanky panky - irony’s a bitch. I woke up after an awful night of alcohol induced ‘light’ sleep. Despite all the tossing and turning, the thong remained super comfortable! It didn’t cut in or make me feel sore, it just felt like an extension of my pyjamas.
Overall it has to be said, they’re OK…
Who am I kidding I LOVE them! I understand why so many people describe them as ‘addictive’, I’m already planning what colours to buy next to match my bras at home. Hanky Panky, you’ve converted me and simultaneously ruined my bank account. Yes £22 seems like a lot for a thong, but I challenge anyone’s bottom not to welcome them graciously. I’m also sure that once you buy one, you’ll want to wear it again and again, so if you think about cost per wear it works out to be inexpensive.
My ‘packet’ pants aren’t going in the bin - that would be wasteful. But they certainly aren’t going to be the first thing I reach for any more.
Is it worth spending £22 on a thong? Let’s just say, I spent Sunday working out how many Hanky Panky Original Thongs I could have bought for the cost of my Saturday night out.